Black and White
by purpletheory
Summary: There was little that Will could do but watch the most important person in his life fade away, but that little he did anyway.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I love this pairing! Anybody with me?! Anyway, read and review my friends. Emphasis on the review part.**

**~PT**

Black and White

Will sat with his back to the wall listening to Henry prattle on about some mechanical piece he needed to finally finish an invention. It would never work right, so he didn't particularly bother listening to what the man was actually saying. It was a droning noise in his ear as he played with a sharp seraph blade in its sheath. He found it comforting and methodical to slide it a few cm out of the leather then slip it back in. Henry made an uncharacteristic shriek and Will jumped to his feet on instinct, immediately alert. Henry had startled himself while fiddling with his piece of certain crap and a spark had jumped up and landed on his shirt. He was quickly brushing it away, to prevent his shirt going up in flames.

"By the Angel, Henry. How many times is it now that you've just about set yourself on fire?" Will drawled in an annoyed tone. He saw Henry's hurt look and quickly amended, "How about I go get us something to eat from the kitchens? Surely you're hungry?"

He almost asked it in a wheedling tone, anything to get away from this madness. He was only here because Charlotte had asked him to keep an eye on the man. Apparently last time, Henry had blown up half of the attic in a hare-brained experiment. To his delight, Henry smiled and said, "Why yes! Please do, and see if they have any cayenne pepper. I need some for this."

Will didn't ask why he needed the hot powder because he didn't want the older man knowing he hadn't been attending to his prattling. He bowed out swiftly, and sighed when he was alone in the corridor. That man was frustrating, but Will was still fond of him. The ginger-haired man had always treated him with respect and never spoke ill towards him. He felt bad at times for his attitude; for he knew Henry was sensitive. He pulled at the seraph blade strapped to his thigh again as he made his way leisurely down the hall towards the kitchens. He would take all the time he could. When he passed by Jem's room he paused to listen, there was no noise so he turned the handle and peeked in silently. The shorter boy was sprawled out on the black duvet, his silver hair mussed and covering part of his face. Will knew that the silver-haired boy had been feeling particularly ill that morning, and though it was only one in the afternoon, he had appeared to have fallen asleep. He felt a slight chill on his bare arms and looked to see the window overlooking the small garden inside the institute, was ajar. He frowned and moved in to close it. Jem was always going from feverish to freezing and he knew that the boy was probably freezing at this time. He shut the window and glanced back at his friend. Sure enough, there were goose-bumps on his pale skin. Will didn't want to wake him by tugging on the blankets underneath him, so he quickly went to his room a little ways down the hall and grabbed his own blankets off of his bed. He draped them over the boy's form, and watched as Jem immediately latched onto the warmth and mumbled unintelligibly. He smiled lopsidedly and began to turn around but was stopped by a slight touch on his hand which was still placed on Jem's now covered shoulder. Jem had laid his hand over Will's and the unconscious boy was muttering something again.

Will looked at their hands, his larger calloused one under Jem's thinner and softer one. He smiled slightly and gently tugged it free. Will turned to leave with only one glance back at the slight form of his friend.

Will eventually sauntered into the kitchen where he encountered no-one, so he quickly stole a cooling loaf of bread from the tables and some milk from the cooler. Hurriedly, he made his way back to Henry, hoping nothing had gone horribly wrong while he had been gone. As he went past Jem's room, he heard the soft strains of a violin emanating from behind the closed door.

Will stopped rushing and stood close to the door listening for a moment before deciding to knock. He listened as the music stopped and footsteps sounded dully on the thick floor. Jem's tired face appeared in front of him in a few moments.

Will cocked his head to the side and took a large bite of the bread in his hand. Jem also cocked his head to one side, but it didn't look comical. Jem looked too exhausted for that.

Will just looked at him for a moment, taking in his shorter companion, his silver hair, silver eyes, and the dark shadows under them. He only spoke when he saw Jem raise his eyebrow in question.

"Jem, I thought you were sleeping?" Will asked moving closer so that Jem was forced to step backwards into the room, allowing him inside.

"I fell asleep, yes. I recognize your duvet," Jem said quietly gesturing towards the now folded blankets on his bed.

Will blushed slightly, for a reason unknown to him and looked away.

"You shouldn't leave your window open like that, you'll catch cold."

Jem gave a short almost strangled laugh and was about to reply when a muted thud sounded, followed by the sound of shattering glass.

The two looked at each other and then took off running towards Henry.

As they burst into the room and saw the tall man slowly getting off of the floor and dusting his trousers off.

"Henry! What was that?" Will demanded, setting the bread and milk down and approaching the red-faced man, trying to ascertain if he was hurt or not. Henry pointed sheepishly towards the broken window and Jem made his way over to look. As soon as figured that the tinker was alright, he went to Jem to look over his shoulder. Unconsciously, the taller boy put his hand on the shorter one's back and leaned out to see what had crashed into the glass panes. Will felt Jem shiver under his fingers and immediately pulled his hand back as if he had been burned. Worried, Will then gently pulled his shorter friend away from the window.

"So how did your, uh, thing get outside?" Will asked. He had recognized the chunk of metal that Henry had been fiddling with, but he hadn't listened to the explanation of it.

Henry rubbed the back of his neck and said ruefully, "It worked."

Jem began laughing, genuinely, his head tossed back and his shoulders shaking. Will forgot his frustration with Henry and he stared at his friend in surprise. He hadn't heard Jem laugh like that in such a long time. Will completely forgot the broken window and his promise to Charlotte and began to chuckle as well. Henry beamed at them, delighted that he had managed to amuse them. When Jem had control of himself again, Henry took a step towards them and half-whispered, "Don't tell Charl-"

"Don't tell me what?" a high female voice came from the doorway,

Will and Jem immediately drew up next to each other in front of the window trying to hold in smiles. Henry spluttered, but Will, thinking quickly, pointed at the bread and milk on the table, "That we were spoiling our dinner with a little snack!"

Charlotte peered suspiciously at the two standing so close together. She turned her gaze back to Henry and asked, "Where is your, er, thing?"

Will almost laughed again. So he wasn't the only one who had tuned the tinkering man out.

Will felt Jem shiver next to him again. He glanced concernedly sidelong at the silver-haired boy, before looking back at Charlotte and Henry.

"It worked!" Henry said like he had before, looking enthusiastically at the two boys, who nodded emphatically.

Charlotte sniffed, "It feels a bit drafty in here, don't you think?"

Jem pointed to the unlit fire place, "We have yet to light a fire!"

Charlotte looked at him closely before giving a small shrug and turning back to Henry, "Your sister has arrived to visit for a while. Won't you come with me to greet her?"

"Dear me, I didn't even know she was coming…"

The couple's voices disappeared as they moved further away.

Will and Jem looked at each other, and grinned. Deciding that the best way to deal with the broken widow was to shut the door and feign ignorance for now. Will grabbed the bread and milk and followed Jem down the corridor to their rooms. The dark-haired boy figured that it was nearly 3 now. He was just about to take another big bite out of the loaf in his hand when Jem, whose back was to him said, "You really will spoil your dinner."

Will smirked and took the wolfish bite. Jem turned his head back to look at him but was unable to admonish the taller boy, for he tripped over a wrinkle in the long carpet that covered the stone. Will quickly reached out and grabbed him, the milk and bread forgotten and his arms closed around Jem and he pulled him back upright. For a moment, Will just held the shorter boy; His hands on Jem's arms, and very aware of the feeling of lean muscle beneath his fingers. Jem flushed the color stark against his pale face.

"Are you alright?" Will asked, not letting go.

Jem blew a breath out and leaned towards Will slightly. Will realized that he needed help and supported most of his weight for him.

"Jem?" Will anxiously asked, leaning down to see into the boy's face. Jem's eyes were half closed and his breathing seemed heavy. Will swiftly put an arm behind the silver-haired boy's knees and pulled him up to his chest. Jem groaned.

Quickly, the dark-haired shadowhunter made his way towards Jem's rooms, trying his hardest not to jostle him. He watched in horror as a thin line of blood appeared at the corner of his mouth. Will skillfully turned the knob of Jem's door with his hip and pushed his way into the room. He gently laid his Pārbati on the duvet and began to loosen his shirt collar.

"Jem, can you hear me? Jem?" Will asked softly, then deciding that he should be sitting up he pulled the other boy up towards the pillows. He pulled off Jem's shoes and he saw his eyes flutter.

"Jem? By the Angel, Jem…" Then Will came and sat by the head of the bed, his legs hanging off. He gently maneuvered his sick friend so that his head and shoulders lay in his lap. He began to massage the other boy's temples, neck, and shoulders trying to get blood flowing.

"Will…" he heard Jem whisper. Will took his sleeve and wiped the blood from Jem's lip.

"Jem, are you alright?"

"W-will… I", he shuddered then and fell silent. His breathing sped up and Will finally realized that the boy couldn't breathe. He quickly pushed his shirt up and hit his back with an open palm. Jem spluttered and a horrible choking sound came out of him. Blood spurted in a clot from his mouth onto his clothes. Jem took a huge stuttering breath and fell back onto Will's lap. Will held his head up so his face wouldn't get pushed into the blood on his chest and realized that he was breathing easy now.

"Jem, do you need some of it?" Will asked. The silver-haired boy drew a shaky breath and with an effort, opened his eyes. His pale gaze meeting the blue ice of Will's. He looked both old and young right then. The blood on his chin was a huge contrast to the white of his skin. Jem just nodded and Will reached over to the box by the bed and brought it to him. He held it while Jem slowly got the amount that he needed. Will wanted to the throw the box suddenly. His grip tightened on it and Jem looked up at him sadly. Will glared at the box, then at Jem, but his gaze softened at the latter. He replaced the box back onto the table and blew out a breath he didn't know he was holding. He slumped onto the pillows, his arms loosely around the boy's neck and shoulders. Jem shifted into a more comfortable position in his taller friend's lap and gave a rough sigh.

"Are you alright now, Jem", Will asked, reaching a hand up to wipe at the blood already drying on the boy's pale chin.

Jem pulled Will's hand away and pressed to his chest. Will could feel where his heart thundered heavily against his ribcage, but also felt as it slowed down.

"I'm going to be ok, for now."

Will tightened his hold and grimaced. He hated to think of the next time Jem had an episode. He would have to watch him more closely. He began to feel a little awkward, his arms embracing his Pārbati. He was about the start easing away when Jem rolled off of him. He watched quizzically as Jem pulled his shirt off and threw it to the ground. Sighing, the boy closed his eyes. Will got up from the bed and went around it to grab the shirt. He would have to wash it if they were to continue hiding Jem's illness. He realized that there was a large amount of blood on Jem's pants as well.

"Jem, can I have your pants?" he said without thinking. Jem cracked an eye and raised an eyebrow. Will flushed almost scarlet, and he muttered, "The blood?"

Jem nodded and still with his eyes closed, he unbuttoned his trousers and then slowly arched his back up from the bed to push them past his hips. Will's eyes widened, and seemed glued to the pale hipbones that appeared from beneath the fabric. Then the moment passed and Jem was throwing the pants in Will's direction. Will bundled them up with the shirt and turned to leave, at the door he glanced back at his pale friend. Jem's skin seemed snow white compared to the gray duvet beneath him. His chest was covered in lean muscles and his stomach was flat with some slight definition. His legs were slender, but muscular as well. Will stared at the curve of his calf for a moment, then thought of how weird he was being. He quickly drew the door open and made his way towards the servants' quarters. Luckily, Sophie was nowhere to be seen, and he was able to scrub the blood from Jem's clothes for the most part with lye and water. He left the garments to dry by the large fire near the laundry and then made his way back to check on Jem. When he peeked in, he didn't see the boy at first. Concerned he silently strode into the room. Then he saw Jem lying on the floor to the side of the bed. His back lay against the cold stone. Worried, Will rushed over to see what was wrong. He realized that Jem was asleep though; as he bent down to touch his forehead. His entire body was freezing to the touch. Will slowly picked the nearly naked boy off the ground and pulled back the blankets to lay him under them. He covered Jem completely and went to retrieve his blankets from the chair against the wall. He left, taking them to his room, and then returned, to sit in the chair he had just cleaned off. Will wasn't about to leave when Jem was this sick. He settled himself as comfortably as one can get in a chair and prepared himself for a long night.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Well here is some more. For my ONE reviewer. :) sorry, I just get a little upset that... 117 people looked at this and only ONE person liked it enough...**

***sobs***

**(please review)**

**3**

**~PT**

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Black and White

Chapter 2

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Jem awoke with a start, grasping at his throat. When he realized that he could breathe, his recurring nightmare of dying was quickly dispelled.

He sat up slowly, his body twinging at a slight pain in his side. He opened his eyes the soft light of the moon stretched across his bed. Pulling a hand from the sheets and running it through his silver hair, He blew out a large breath. He looked around his room, feeling too hot.

He started a little when he saw that Will sat in the chair by the window. He cocked his head in amusement. He had a feeling that Will would stay and keep an eye on him when he was sick, but he had never caught him doing it. He slowly slid off of the bed and went over to the other boy. His head rested on his fist and his hair fell over his eyes. It was curly and wild from lack of care and Jem had a strange urge to run his fingers through it. He shook his head and turned to open the window. As he did he heard Will shifting and muttering. He turned his head back to the dark-haired shadowhunter and saw that his head had fallen back on the chair and his neck was exposed. His skin was creamy white and the mark rising from his open collar contrasted in a beautiful way. He wanted to touch him, but he refrained. Instead Jem went to the window and open it slightly.

He was still too hot.

He leaned out and breathed deeply but gave a strangled choke as the fresh air caught in his lungs. Immediately he felt a hand on his back, rubbing in a small circle. His choking fit subsided and he took shallow experimental breaths, feeling chilled to the bone now. He leaned back from the window overlooking the lawns and slumped a little against the boy who he knew to be Will. He said nothing as Will took his weight up into his arms and carried him back to his bed. He shivered as he felt the heat warm his body and his Parabatai's warm breath on his face. Will slowly laid Jem down and covered him with the blankets. Jem gazed concernedly at his friend's gaunt looking face. He needed sleep too. Without too much thought, Jem reached out to stop the dark-haired boy from leaving, and pulled weakly for him to join him under the covers.

Will look worriedly into Jem's eyes, "Jem?" His voice inquired.

Jem simply tugged again at his arm. Will looked more understanding but said seriously, "James…" Jem didn't meet his eyes, but didn't move his hand either. The silver-haired boy felt him slowly give in and he very cautiously shifted the covers aside and soon he lay beside Jem.

The sick shadowhunter moved feebly to try and give the larger boy some room and gave a small sigh. He turned his back to the cold and huddled his frame close to the new found heat of Will's body. Jem laid there for a moment, not touching his friend nor saying anything. Just as he was about to break the silence, Will's voice interrupted his thoughts.

"James…" Will said so quietly that Jem almost didn't hear him, but then the dark-haired hunter shifted onto his side to look at Jem. Jem took in a gulp of air as he saw the how the waning light of the moon lit the cheek of his friend, lining him in silver.

"Jem," Will's voice whispered, "What are you thinking?"

Jem was glad that he didn't bring up his sickness or his need for his Parabatai's presence. He took another deep breath, relieved when it didn't catch in his throat.

"I am wondering how I am not dead yet."

Will let out a groan and flopped his head on the pillow. They were both silent for a time and Jem was nodding off again when Will whispered, "You are not dead yet, because I need you."

Jem fell asleep to those words ringing through his mind.

When he awoke again, he felt at the right temperature again and the familiar ache in his side wasn't present in the position he was in. That position happened to be tucked neatly under his friend's chin. Will had his arms wrapped loosely around Jem and his heart beat steadily against his ear.

Jem drew a sharp breath before realizing that Will was asleep still. He eased himself out of the embrace with some difficulty but managed to do so without Will waking up. The silver-headed boy sat up gingerly and propped himself up on one hand, using the other to try and rub the sleep from his eyes. He shook his head and glanced back at Will. Will was awkwardly holding nothing in his arms and his hair was even more unruly than usual. Jem liked to watch the other boy sleep, for the guarded expression fell away and his face lost some of its sharp sadness. Will snorted and rolled onto his stomach. Jem gave a muffled laugh, pressing a hand to his mouth, and got up. He looked down and realized that he didn't have any clothes on, but simply his underwear. He jerked his head to look at Will then flushed heavily. He dressed in a loose white shirt and grey trousers and made his way out into the hall. He shut the door quietly and went to the kitchens to see if he couldn't score himself any food. Judging by the light that was streaming through the slightly open windows, it seemed to be late morning. He hoped the cook had left some food, or was now preparing lunch. His stomach grumbled and he smiled at the thought that he was finally hungry. He accidently startled Agatha while she was cleaning the stove, but she fretted over him and gave him a tray loaded with enough food for himself and also Will. Making his way back to his rooms, he quietly opened the door and set the tray on his writing desk. Taking a piece of bread, he sat on the bed next to Will's hip. For a moment he just looked at Will's back. The boy had rolled over and he lay on his stomach with his face towards Jem and his breath puffing out softly, moving his hair slightly with each inhalation. The sheets had slipped down Will's back and Jem saw that his friend had divested himself of his shirt sometime during the night. Jem blushed at the sight of Will's muscled and tattooed back. A swath of sunlight cut across his shoulder making the runes that littered his skin glow. Underneath the runes, Jem could see scars crisscrossing each other, creating a gruesome pattern. Jem lifted a hand, about to slide a finger along a particularly large scar when Will mumbled, "Breakfast?"

Jem quickly got off of the bed, stumbling as he did and blushed at the thoughts he had been having. "Y-yes… Fresh bread, milk and ham. If you would wake up before I eat it all."

Jem's voice gained strength as he straightened his clothes and took a large bite out of the chunk of cooled bread he had forgotten was in his grip. He was surprised when Will didn't fall into his joking pattern, but simply raised his torso from the bed, resting his weight on his forearms and looked over at Jem, his blue eyes seeming dark and stormy. Jem's swallowed the bread with some difficulty and stared at Will warily. Whatever kept Will from food had to be concerning.

"You're alright then?" Will's slightly welsh lilt came through as the soft words made their way into the air.

Jem was about to joke again when he saw the pain and worry in his friend's face. Instead of making light of it, he motioned for Will to get up and eat. Will fiddled with the sheets until his very wrinkled black shirt appeared from beneath them and he slipped it on. Jem felt Will's eyes assessing him as he made a plate from the mountain of food that Agatha had provided them with, but continued and soon plopped the plate in Will's lap. He stared at Will. He was unsure how he was supposed to acknowledge what had passed between them the night before so he simply rested a hand on his Parabatai's shoulder and then went to the other side of the room and began to play his violin. A melody that he knew Will would enjoy. He felt Will's concern for him through the gaze that was riveted in his direction. He continued to play throughout a song and a half before stopping in the midst of a particularly sorrowful note. The bow scraped clumsily against the oiled strings and the off tone rang out. Will, who had at some point laid back down on the bed, opened his eyes and sat up, a light blush dusting his cheeks.

Jem snapped his violin inside it's protective case and looked at Will.

"Let's head towards the river. I would like some fresh air."

Will said nothing as he got up from the bed and left towards the door to change into more suitable and fresh clothing. He brushed past Jem's shoulder and stopped there. Will was taller than Jem by a few inches, but their faces were very close.

"I'm glad you are well again," the dark-haired boy said softly. Jem pulled a wry face but Will just reached out and gripped his shoulder tightly.

"James."

Hearing the raw tone in his friend's voice made his eyes well up slightly. He hung his head and leaned forward slightly so that his forehead touched Will's collarbone. They stood like that for several moments before Will pushed on Jem's chest, and brought one hand up to take his chin in his palm. Tilting that sharp jaw up so that Jem's bright eyes were visible, Will muttered, "So the river, yea? Better bring a seraph. It can get nasty at any time of day."

Jem gave a watery smile and turned from his Parabatai. Will exited the room, pulled the door shut slowly. Jem found a waistcoat and pulled it on, not liking that it hung oddly on him now that he had lost weight. He had bought it a few months ago! He hated what his illness did to Will. Jem worried about Will just as much as Will worried about him. Simply for different reasons. Will always seemed to be watching for any worse change in Jem. Other people did it as well, and that irked him greatly, but with Will… It was different. Will wasn't worried that Jem would break, his worry seemed for other reasons. He always let Jem do whatever motion or action he wanted to, with no complaint as to what it would do for his health.

Jem thought back to the night before when Will had asked after his thoughts. Had his friend really said what he thought he had heard?

"_You are not dead yet, because I need you." _

Jem shook his head and realized that he had sunk down onto the mattress. He pulled himself up briskly and strapped on his knife belt and grabbed his coat and cane. He made his way down the hall towards will's room, and seeing the door ajar, assumed that he had already gone down to the main hall to wait. Jem felt much better as he marched down the stairs with purpose. He stopped short when he saw Will sitting on the steps before him. He had a letter in his hands, his eyes darting across the paper and his face growing more ashen at each word read. Jem quickly descended the remaining stairs and stopped in front of the other shadowhunter.

"Will." When there was no answer he reached a hand out. Will snatched the paper towards his chest and held it there, his breath short.

"What in the world is the matter?" Jem asked incredulously. Will didn't get upset like this.

"Jem, please give me a moment, I've got to pen a short missive to send when we set out."

Before he could ask after the matter again, Will jumped up and ran towards charlotte's study, his boots thudding softly against the dense stone.

Jem sat on the stair that Will had just vacated and stared bewilderedly after him. Jem had never quite seen that level of an expression before. Maybe it was a letter from his parents? No, they still thought he was dead. Who else then? What sort of information did it carry?

Jem wasn't given much time for speculation for Will was soon seen briskly walking towards him, a freshly sealed letter in his hand. He waved it in the air, letting the wax cool before he shoved the paper into his coat pocket and held a hand out for Jem to take. Jem accepted the assistance and stood up. Will immediately swept towards the institute's impressive main doors. Jem caught up and grabbed Will's forearm to stall him. He never kept things from Jem.

"Will, what's wrong?" Jem lessened the pressure of his grip and slid his hand down so that he just barely grasped his friend's hand. He felt the need to feel those cool, calloused fingers against his own.

Will just stared in frustration at the door ahead of him, as each every plank or wood and metal hinge had offended him deeply. He then sighed and turned to face Jem.

To Jem's surprise, Will tightened his fingers around Jem's until they were truly holding together and he brought their clasped hands to his chest, "The letter," but stopped as his breath caught.

"Jem, there is no more Yin Fen."

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	3. Chapter 3

_Black & White_

_Chapter 3_

**A/N: So ladies and gents! Here is the next chappie :) Thank you for reviewing, you wonderful people you. I look forward to MORE reviews. You see, I'm never satisfied with what reviews I have… it's a… condition… so REVIEW. :) I love this, so fluff, so angst.**

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Will watched as Jem's face stilled, his features blanking one by one until he looked emotionless. If he hadn't known the other boy for as long as he had, he would have been worried. However, Jem always did this in the face of bad news, something taught to him by his mother's elite Chinese upbringing. Will waited for the boy to respond. When he didn't, he slowly untangled their previously tightly gripped fingers and shook Jem's shoulder. The silver-haired boy's eyes blinked a few times and his eyes focused on Will.

"May I see the letter?"

Will blushed a moment, thinking of all the letters he had sent regarding Jem and the familiarity with which he wrote about his friend. He took the crumpled paper from his pocket and handed it over. He sat down on one of the steps leading to the massive institute door and watched Jem's eyes fly over the missive. To his surprise, Jem began smiling and he lifted his gaze from the paper to look at Will, and crumpled it in a fist and stuffed it in his jacket pocket.

Will cocked his head; the look Jem was giving him was unlike any he had seen before. It looked demure, even though that word might not be the best word to ever describe Jem's face ever again. There was something else there too, hidden behind his lashes. Will realized he had been staring and shook his head, "Well?"

"We should still get some fresh air, but we might as well deliver your response first – even though we will be nowhere near the river."

Will expected… well something else. Jem seemed completely unperturbed by the news that the only thing keeping him alive was gone. Will stood up and realized that he had just come within a breath's distance of Jem. He stood still, waiting for Jem to allow him room, but the boy just stood there, looking up at him. Will decided he liked whatever this new expression on Jem's face was. His eyes traveled over Jem's features, still looking for signs of distress. His gaze landed on Jem's lips and it seemed to snag there. He couldn't look away.

Jem spoke, startling him and making him flush deeply, "We had better get going, or we'll have made a waste of the day." Will jerked his head down in a nod and turned to open the door.

Why had he stared at his friend's lips for so long? Shaking his head sharply, he heaved the door open and let Jem pass through ahead of him.

Will walked a few steps behind him, his mind returning to the issue at hand. There was no more Yin Fen. He had no idea what that meant.

Did it mean that there was no more of the drug in London?

The region?

At all?

He had scribbled a quick letter, knowing that he wouldn't be able to speak to his informant at the moment, but sorely wished he could. Will would do anything for Jem. That included scouring the earth for the thing that was saving him and killing him simultaneously. He took two large steps that brought him to Jem's shoulder and bumped into him slightly. Jem looked over at him, his face expressionless again. Even when there seemed to be no emotion in his features, his face still looked pleasant, as if they really were simply out for a stroll. Jem gave a quick smile then slid his eyes to the cobbles beneath his feet, making sure he didn't stumble over their unevenness.

"I'm not worried."

Will opened his mouth to retort but Jem looked up sharply, "I knew this would happen."

Will stopped walking entirely. Jem took a few more steps before noticing and turned to raise a questioning eyebrow at him.

"Jem-"

"You did too."

Will looked down. Jem's voice was seemed barbed, like he was forcing his voice to seem harsh.

"James…" Will's voice broke as he said his parabatai's full first name.

Jem turned around and began to run.

Will stared at his narrow back in shock for a moment, and then tore off after him.

Despite being sick, Jem moved swiftly due to his natural ability and the runes on his skin. Will cursed his inability to remember to refresh his own runes as he had yet to catch up to him.

After a almost ten solid minutes of running, Jem stumbled ahead of Will, He fell before Will could reach him and prevent it. Will threw himself down beside him and gently rolled him from where he sprawled on his front, onto his back.

"Jem," he started out angrily but he lost his anger when he saw the tears running from Jem's tightly shut eyes.

"Oh James."

Jem seemed to cry even harder.

Will pulled him up to hug him, his arms holding the now sobbing shadowhunter tightly. Jem's face was pressed against the skin of his neck and the warm tears rolled down to soak the collar of his coat. Will held the back of his head and pushed his nose against that silver hair. He let his own tears well up and brim over for a few moments before he tried to get ahold of himself.

Jem's cries had subsided to shuddering breaths and sniffling. Will had pulled Jem into his lap and now as Jem clung to him, Will felt like he never wanted to let go.

He leaned back to look into Jem's face, his hand reaching up automatically to brush at the wet tracks made against pale flushed cheeks. Jem rubbed his coat arm ungracefully over his face and opened his eyes fully, his lashes dewed with tears. Will held his face with one hand and just stared helplessly at him. Jem sighed and put his smaller hand over Will's.

Will felt his cool fingers brush against his knuckles.

"James-"

Jem hung his head with a short sob, "P-please stop saying my full name."

Will was stunned for a moment then pulled his hands away, a little hurt, "Ok."

Jem turned onto his knees and looked up at Will wildly, his cheeks reddened and his eyes bright, "I can't handle it."

Will said nothing as he got to his feet and held out his arms for Jem to hold onto. Jem pulled himself up and clung to Will's forearms.

"I'm sorry for that..."

Will shook his head, denying the apology but still hurt by Jem forbidding the use of his full first name.

He loved saying it.

He checked Jem over closely for bruises, scrapes, or cuts but found nothing of note. Then he stepped back and let Jem brush himself off.

"I think I've had enough fresh air."

Will nodded and gently steering his friend from the back alley he had stumbled them into. Jem was faltering in step but stubbornly refusing Will's help, so he just walked behind him and stayed close for when Jem fell.

He did, his knees buckling. Will caught him with little effort for he had been anticipating it and pulled him off of his feet, drawing him up to his chest gently. He sighed and began to walk twice as fast as their original speed. Jem huffed slightly and his lip stuck out in a slight pout.

Will looked down at him in amusement but refrained from commenting. A few moments later, Jem laid his head on Will's shoulder and relaxed his frame, making it a bit easier for Will to carry the slight boy. It took roughly an hour of brisk walking until they reached the institute property. Will could tell that Jem had fallen asleep because his head had lolled to the side, his hair flopping to one side.

Luckily for them, the heavy door to the Institute was open when Will walked through the wrought iron gates. Unluckily for them, charlotte was standing in the doorway talking with a young man.

"Tell your father that I will only accept proper correspondence," Charlotte was saying frostily. Will walked up warily, his mind racing for an explanation for Jem's state. Charlotte gave him a weird glance but refocused her gaze on the brown-haired boy in front of her. Will passed him with a nod, but before he looked away he saw the boy's almost visceral expression as he looked down at Jem.

Will wanted to hide Jem from his view and he almost shuddered at the boy's face. Jem mumbled as he was jostled by Will stepping into the Institute quickly and continuing towards the stairs. Taking two stairs at a time, he was breathless by the time he burst into Jem's rooms. He closed the door with his foot and then just sank against the door, his back sliding until he rested on the floor with Jem cradled snugly in his lap.

That boy had such a strange expression on his face when he looked at Jem. It was like he wanted to devour him. Will shook his head. He wouldn't let whoever it had been get near Jem again.

Jem had been shifted a little bit but when Will shook his head he blinked his eyes open. Will just looked into those light blue silver eyes and his heart swelled in his chest. He felt full of emotions.

Jem's brow furrowed and he stretched a little in Will's arms.

Will started a little, thinking he was still holding Jem intimately and sitting on the floor. He hurriedly got up, accidently jostling Jem and laid him down on his bed a bit hastily. Jem winced and Will apologized profusely. Jem waved his words away and curled up on his side, facing away from Will. Will took that as a sign to leave, but nor before carefully pulled the blankets from underneath his friend and tucking him under them. He strode from the room, without looking back.

He met Charlotte on his way down the stairs again, and she motioned for him to follow her down to the study. As soon as she passed through the doors, her shoulders slumped and she gave a large sigh. Curious, Will stopped moving and waited for an explanation.

Instead, Charlotte plopped unceremoniously down behind her desk and asked quietly, "Do you think I am good at running this institute?"

Will thought she would inquire after Jem and because her question surprised him, he didn't answer right away. She looked up sharply in the silence and her lips were quivering, her eyes bright.

"You're brilliant at it, Charlotte!" Will quickly burst out, going to stand before her. Knowing it must have been whatever happened with that young man, he inquired, "What has happened to make you think otherwise?"

Charlotte sighed again, "It's the Lightwoods. Benedict Lightwood, has always resented my acceptance as the Institute head. He doesn't think a woman can run it properly, and he particularly doesn't like me. He sent his son with a box of chocolates and flowers with a small note telling me he had changed a major agenda item and told me the council hadn't informed me because I was too busy floundering under the weight of my position. I sent Gabriel back with a sound telling off for his pompous father, He can't- "

"Gabriel, huh?" Will muttered, his gaze settled on nothing.

When he looked up again, Charlotte's calculating and in control expression was back.

"So, tell me what is wrong with Jem?"

Will blushed for seemingly no reason, "We went out to get fresh air and we stopped to get something to eat. Jem ordered a dish with kale in it and he is apparently allergic to kale. He had a reaction and so I carried him back here."

As each word fell from his lips, he knew that he was giving a very piss poor lie.

"Jem wasn't aware that he was allergic to kale until now?" Charlotte asked, her eyes narrowing.

"He uh… did but the menu didn't advertise it, and it was hidden amongst the other ingredients."

Charlotte looked about to investigate further when Jessamine practically fell into the room with her mouth flapping. Will scowled at the girl, but felt grateful – just this once – for her tendency to complain every half hour.

He backed from the room and took his leave of the institute, jogging out into the crisp afternoon air. He made his way through the town until he reached the upper end, where the rich people lived. Quickly finding the house he had been to on countless occasions, the tall and dark-haired boy jumped up the steps and took the knocker in both hands. The sun was setting for it had taken almost two hours to reach his destination. The sun lit the gleaming silver door knocker in the shape of a grotesque demon, and suddenly Will felt angrier than he had ever felt. Before he could slam the knocker into the wood, it opened, jerking him inwards and off balance. He landed, sprawled on his face between a pair of elegant shoes. Now even more angry, Will scrambled up, "What the hell! I demand to see-" He finally looked at the owner of those shoes.

The man who stood before him was unlike any he had ever seen. He looked Asian, but he had cat like eyes, the iris's dilated at the moment. They were gold in color and mesmerizing. He had never met the man before, but knew him to be the one he had been sending letters to. This was the warlock. Magnus Bane.

Will knew he deserved to be kicked out, and refused help for his behavior, however the tall warlock just stood staring at him with a slight smile on his face.

"So, this is William Owen Herondale. Valiant protector and supplier for one James Carstairs. My, your skin looks delectable, doesn't it?"

"Nice to meet you… what?" Will couldn't wrestle with his previous anger and meeting with the person who had helped him with yin fen and various other issues for years. Magnus Bane was like the marshland bogey of the welsh tales, never seen fully but thought of as terrifying yet a good sign if he were glimpsed at certain times.

Will bowed suddenly, "It's a pleasure to meet you, Milord."

Magnus began to laugh, "Oh don't do that, please. Come in. It's interesting to finally see your face. What a face!"

Will didn't know what to say to the warlock's compliments to his appearances so he just stayed silent and allowed the warlock to clap the door shut and lead him into the huge house. They came to a strangely decorated drawing room area and they stopped in there. Magnus reclined on a very plush chaise and gestured for Will to sit as well.

The young shadowhunter sat down on an uncomfortably soft armchair, feeling as if the material were swallowing him. He perched on the edge.

"What may I do for you?" Magnus purred, swinging a leg over the other.

Will reached for the letter, and then flushed thinking he could just tell him without having to stupidly read it.

"I was here to deliver a response to one of your servants? I wanted to discuss the missive I received earlier today. About the Yin Fen."

"Ah yes, the life-draining but life-saving addiction for the young James."

"He doesn't like it when people say his full name." Will said, but then shook his head, wondering why he had said that.

"No, he just doesn't like it when _you _say it."

Will jerked his head up shocked, "How did you-"

"I am very good at reading people, and you… you are very expressive."

Will tried to school his features but Magnus simply laughed at his efforts.

"To others, you may be a closed book, but your eyes tell me everything."

He smiled at will with a Cheshire grin, "Almost."

"You see, your letters of utter devotion never cease to amaze me. All the things you have done, and still will do for that young man, however…"

He paused and Will sat up a little straighter at the sharp glint in those unnerving cat eyes.

"You feel guilty about your devotion. Your _love_."

Will flinched heavily.

"As for the Yin Fen, I have tried to find other suppliers and have come up with not even a single kilogram of the rotted stuff with nary a whisper of more to come. I would not tell you if I didn't think it was an issue. I have my people out with their ears to the ground and their legs running, but there is less hope every day. No word from the Chinese exports, and the regular suppliers have left the area."

Will's jaw set and the tears welled up again.

"I am trying, William Herondale," Magnus said very softly, "Your care for James is very… inspiring. I will key you in to any more details I learn. In the meantime, I suggest you try and limit James' intake even further than I know you already do. We do not know when or if there will be more so it is important to ration. We cleaned them out the last time the demon powder was available and it's been at least a month since then. He couldn't have much left."

Will nodded, and hung his head.

"Chin up, it's not over yet."

Will nodded again and stood as the warlock did. Magnus saw him to the door, and as he opened it said, "I suppose you _are_ off limits, but tell my servants the next time you visit to fetch me and I will speak to you personally."

Again, Will was confused with the man's odd statements but thanked him and shook his hand. He stepped out into the now darkened London air and the door shut quietly behind him.

It almost, almost seemed like the warlock knew. Knew of his curse. Will had been cursed as a young boy, by a greater demon that said all people that loved him would die, and if that wasn't enough to convince him, his eldest sister died the next day. Will had fled his only home in favor of the unfamiliar institute.

He stepped into the street, head down as he plodded towards the center of London yet again.

He kept everyone at arms-length to save them, though he loved them all dearly. He loved Jem most of all. His Parabatai, Jem.

He felt guilty because he knew Jem loved him as well, as brothers. Jem was dying before they met, but sometimes Will wonders if his friend's love for him is the cause of any other pains.

Yet, he couldn't live without Jem's love.

He found his way towards the cemetery and wandered around for a minute before sitting down on the steps leading up to the mausoleum that Molly liked to hang around sometimes. He really wasn't expecting to see her, he just needed to sit.

Will loved Jem with all his heart, not just as brothers, or even as Parabatai.

Will loved him more than that. His genuine smiles could change any sour mood he had. His touch could soften any anger in his heart. He was so beautiful, in so many ways. He couldn't just sit down and let him slip through his fingers for James Carstairs was the love of his life.

Will sighed and with one more glance for the ghost left for the institute once more.

Upon entering, he chanced upon Charlotte and Henry together, so he acted drunk and made his way to his rooms. He passed them all together though and quietly entered Jem's rooms.

Jem was lying on his side, his soft and slow breath telling Will that he was sound asleep. Will came and sat on the bed near Jem's curved hip.

Will touched the tips of his fingers to silver hair and sighed slowly. He wanted nothing more than to get into the bed with Jem and press his body up against his, hold him tightly, and fall asleep. The other night had been bliss, with Jem holding onto him and with Will slowly pulling Jem against his chest.

He wistfully brushed a hand over a slender shoulder, and got up trying not to jostle the boy, and went to sit in the chair besides the bed. He couldn't take such liberties when Jem wanted none of them. It was a special occasion, never to be repeated.

Will settled his frame into the seat as comfortable as possible and drifted off to the sight of Jem sleeping peacefully.

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**A/N: Hey there. I love this thing. So review. PLEASE?! Dammit. I know this is good. **

**JK**

**not really.**

**Review.**


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